Participants,

My experienced and dedicated team of seasoned data analysts has been crunching the numbers for almost 2 weeks and delivered to me earlier today the actual game score for SB 50!  Our vast network of computers contains more than 100 PB (that’s petabytes – 1 petabyte is equal to 1,000 terabytes, which is equal to 1,000 gigabytes, and so forth) of data, so the modeling exercise has taken longer than expected.

While must pundits have been filling the winter air with obscure oral diarrhea, my team has been behind closed doors just crunching the numbers.  In addition to the data gathering effort, they have also run multiple Monte Carlo simulations to re-verify their prognostications.

The HSBT competition is at a frenzy, with all participants trying to determine what it will take to win.  The formula is simple – just have more points than everyone else.

• Current leader Buffalo Bill can see the finish line and the trophy, but those images in the his rear view mirror are getting larger
• Pete the Terp has the Broncos with the SB Bonus 100 points, but is he a lock to pick them to win?
• JTB has not been in this rarified air so late in the competition, so we don’t know what to expect.  But being a Browns fan, you know he will have a solid pick (cough)
• Comeback Kid has been going through pencil erasers at the rate of 3 per day, as he tries to calculate his best odds of winning
• HenricoFiveOh is probably feeling pretty confident right now, with eyes fixated on #7.  Look out for him
• Greg the Great and Ben the Butler will submit some very interesting scores, so it will be a wild day for all participants
• Who did we miss?  Oh, yeah – 2016 Winner (pictured holding the trophy once again after a dramatic pick that clinches the lowest game variance in SB history)…

Without further adieu (drum roll, please), here is scoop on how tomorrow’s game:

Even before the kickoff, we will have “Coingate 2”  That’s right, the fumbling ref who botched the OT coin toss in the Packer – Cardinal game 3 weeks ago, will be the head ref for SB50 and gets the dubious honor of tossing the coin.  This time, more than 3.7 billion people will witness the bumbled toss, that will be redone automatically by spectator voting on their smartphones.

After 10 minutes of commercials (at an estimated cost of $300 million), we finally have a kickoff!!  The GPS-based Napa Valley wine app goes haywire and 25,000 fans (who paid a mere $73,500 per ticket) are left with botched beverage orders and are forced to actually leave their seats to find a drinking fountain.  Meanwhile, sales are brisk through the electronic food ordering system, with waiters in server tuxes dishing out $125 filet mignon sandwiches at a rate of 250 per minutes.  Nothing is too good for SB 50…

Oh, and there is actually a game being played on the field, where the Broncos have a stunning and commanding halftime lead over the Panthers, 10-7.

The halftime entertainment is sponsored by the entire Silicon Valley, and the light show at the end of the 45-minute extravaganza blows out the electrical systems in 10 neighboring states.  Reminiscent of the last time the 49ers played (against the Ravens, in SB 47.)

Not to worry, all is fixed by 11:00pm (Pacific Time) and the 2^nd half gets into full swing with the Panthers scoring in the final 5 seconds to make it Denver 38, Carolina 37.  Two penalties later, the Panthers are forced to kick the tying extra point from 47 yards.  If you’re from Buffalo, you know the story…

Peyton finally gives Denver another SB trophy, while the Camthers can only scratch their heads in disbelief.  And with that final score, the winner of HSBT 28 is (I will inform you Sunday night after the game)…

Until then, I remain

THE Commish